Me: I want to give you money.
Me: You do sell that shit, don’t you? I’d like to buy some. Maybe a quite a lot.
Me: Can you give me prices of that shit?
Supplier: When can I expect your order?
Supplier: Our products are the best quality anywhere, and our commitment to superior customer service unsurpassed. You’ll be pleasantly surprised when you place an order with us.
Me: I need to see your pricelist before I can order.
Me: It feels like you don’t want my money…
Supplier: Oh. OK. Here’s a thumbsuck pricelist, but if you’ll sign up to exclusively sell only our shit we can give you much, much better prices…
Me (thinking to myself): So if I decline their offer to become a captive customer they’re planning to gouge me on prices? Hmmm…
Stands upstage left, wondering whether these jokers are really in business.
Next up: The mysterious case of ‘I’ll Phone You When It Gets Here’.